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Sunday, January 1, 2012

Lots of wondering thoughts

I'm realizing more and more that I don't fit in with the YSA here. I don't know if it's from my social anxieties, or just my introverted personality, but I don't do well in large groups, especially when they are out to "have fun," while I am a laid-back person. I wish sometimes I could just have two or three local friends with whom I could hang out . I'm not anti-social, but I don't enjoy crowds, and I don't like acting stupid. I think that may be the biggest aspect of it- I'm the oldest one in the group, and almost all of the YSA are just out of high school. I don't mean to insult any of them, but the fact that they are still young shows. I wasn't really into that kind of stuff when I was a teen, and I'm certainly not now. Now, I can be an extremely goofy person, but there is a difference between goofy, and immature.

While I'm talking about YSA, I've figured out what kinds of things I find attractive, and it shows in my past few girlfriends. One of the biggest things that sticks out is a love for music. It makes sense, as at any given time I'm either playing or listening to music. I've also noticed other things they all have in common, such as a love for reading, appreciation for art, traditional, varying degrees of nerdy, and an outward intellectualism. That's actually a big thing for me- I've always been most attracted to women who are smarter than I am. There are less similarities as far as physical aspects go. The only thing they all have in common is they all have green/blue eyes, but I love brown. I just love it when eyes pop, or fit well with hair. Another aspect they differ is hair.  One was blonde, one dark brunette, one light brunette, one strawberry blonde. The tallest was 5-11, the shortest 5-2. There is one thing that was there with both Melinda and Laura, and is the most important- we were best friends.

I've noticed over the past few months, I've regressed back to having a pointed sarcasm. It reminds me a lot of Lewis Black or Ron White. While most of the things that run through my head don't come out, a few of them do, and some of them are mean. Now, a lot of it likely comes from my disdain for the general low-brow humor that has inundated the YSA, but that's no excuse.

This leads me to my New Year's Resolutions:
Cut the sarcasm
Expand my repertoire on the guitar, including learning more classical and blues- the foundations of all music.
Finish the BOM twice by July 1st, then once more for the second half of the year. (quite ambitious)
Start, and continue, the Spartacus Workout.
Finish writing my songs, and get them all recorded so I can put out some CDs for friends.

I hope I do a much better job this year than I did last year on my resolutions.

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly how you feel about the social thing. If I try really hard, I can be ok in big groups. But usually I hate it. Although I'm only 19, I totally get the maturity gap thing. It's probably because I've had significantly more education, but I feel years older than the other 18-19 yr olds. They are so annoying.

    That's a good list of attractive qualities. I've found in my dating that two things are critical for me in a guy. One, he has to have a rock-solid testimony/character, and two, I have feel like he is my equal. Education and ambition are really, really big for me. Music is a big one for me too, as well as talent and interests in general. Being well-read and somewhat nerdy is also a plus. As far as physical attraction, I can't say I'm as varied. Pretty much all the guys I've really liked/dated have been brunette with a strong jaw and under 6'. And over 25.

    I still haven't picked a resolution. Chronic indecision, remember? :)