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Monday, May 21, 2012

Missions and Marriage (another rant)

On the Voices for Virtue Facebook page, this question was posted:

THERE IS A BOY I like and he is an active member in the church. He told me that he doesn't know if he is going on a mission, that he doesn't feel that the Lord called him to. I told him to just pray about it and go get his patriarchal blessing when it's time for him. Is that right? IS IT WRONG NOT GOING ON A MISSION ? Or MARRYING SOMEBODY WHO DID NOT GO ON A MISSION? Thank you!

This is my response:

All young men should prepare to serve a mission; however, not all of them will. There is a myriad of reasons why not, but none of them inherently make a young man bad. Just because someone didn't serve a mission should have no bearing on a marriage decision if the young man is worthy and committed now. People talk about how they want certain qualities, but they look for superficial sings of those inward qualities usually. Being an RM is great, and is a great litmus test, but it shouldn't' be a requirement. While most RMs are worthy and good people, and many served for the right reasons, such isn't the case for all of them. I know of one missionary who served in my ward when I was 16, who fathered a child on his mission. He also served a full 2 years. And if you ask any mission president, he'll tell you that there are some kids out there who should have waited or not even left in the first place. Holding the "I wont marry you" over a man's head is a terrible way to motivate him for a mission. There are only two reasons a man should serve a mission: Because he wants to serve the lord, and he just HAS to share the gospel. That's it. That's what my bishop told me years ago when I was 19, and he was right; I wasn't ready then, and I would have made a terrible missionary then. But even if a young man never serves, that shouldn't be an automatic disqualifies for marriage. Eternal Marriage is a prerequisite for salvation; is not serving a mission honestly such a sin that it would bar a man from the Celestial kingdom? Of course not! If Alma and Paul can repent from actively trying to tear down the kingdom of God, than certainly a young man can repent from indecisiveness. And to tell a young, or old, man that he is unworthy of YOU because he didn't serve a mission is purely arrogant. Who are you to say you're better than him, because if you say he's unworthy of you for not serving a mission ,what you're saying is you're better than him. Even if he didn't serve because of worthiness issues, if he has repented what's the issue? To say that a man isn't worthy because of something he has repented of is a slap to the face for Christ and The Atonement. When you say that, you're saying The Atonement isn't good enough for him. If a man is worthy and committed now, what's the issue? In the end, RM status isn't important; it's the status of his heart and actions that is.

Any questions as to how I feel? 

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