Search This Blog

Provided by SEO company.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Fact.

God loves us; therefore, we have college football.


Photobucket


Photobucket

Thursday, August 23, 2012

PPI

For the first time since I was fourteen, I had an actual PPI with my quorum president. (Okay, so youth PPIs were done by the Young Men's presidency in my ward, but you get the point.) I actually had been approached a few times by President Button (I hate calling him that. I prefer Jeff) about doing a PPI but I hadn't been able to do it, mostly because I've been attending the New Smyrna ward a lot lately. (There are more YSA in that ward, and I am the only YSA rep in the stake who is active in YSA activities.) Well he texted me yesterday and asked me to come to the church for a meeting. I already knew I would be out with the missionaries all afternoon and so that was perfect because it would be at the chapel right when he wanted to meet.

Well there is a bunch of good news from it. He and I discussed my progression spiritually and taking the next steps in life, such as my endowments. He then complimented me on my teaching and how great my lessons have been in Elders. He told me he really appreciates my insights and opinions I give during lessons.  He then extended a calling to me within the quorum. (I can't post it yet. Even though no one from my ward reads my regularly, no one is supposed to know about it until I am sustained on Sunday. If you wanna know before then, email me, though it isn't that exciting of a calling.)

I also found out last tonight that I will be speaking in sacrament meeting "soon", whatever that is supposed to mean. The conversation basically went like this: (FYI, in case you didn't know, MY dad is my Bishop. Has been for five years now. I'm still not happy about it.)

Brother Begin (My dad's 1st counselor): "At least we know what the concluding speaker will be speaking about."
Me: "I'm simply surprised you aren't asking me to do it."
"Oh, you're time is coming very very soon. It's been a while since you last did one."
"Yeah, I know. At least I'm good at it."
"Yeah, you are."
"Maybe is I start to suck, I wont have to do it as often. Hey, maybe we can push this back to the next time the BYU dance team is here for the NCA/NDA championships." (Everyone in the room laughs)
"Yeah, 'cuz I know when that is."
"I do. It's usually the second or third weekend in April." (Everyone laughs again.)

Okay, I'm not a typical guy, but I am still a guy. A guy is looking for a serious relationship. (Okay, A guy who really is wanting to get married.)


In other news, I am done with KD. I mentioned in my last post that she and I have been kind of hot/cold lately. It's really been that way since we met, mostly because I struggle with her immaturity and player-like attitude about dating. Well, I've decided to wash my hands of her and move on. (Towards maybe the really pretty sister missionary in my ward who goes home next week and is also going out to BYU-I? JK. Kind of. Okay not really.) If this was two or three years ago, KD and I would have never progressed to this point. I used to have absolutely no tolerance for players and liars, and she has been both to me. The final straw came Sunday on the car ride home from the New Smyrna ward. I got physically sick from the words she said, because they were immature, self-centered and incredibly hurtful towards me. I took a lot of self-control not to tell her off and say exactly what I was thinking. I haven't spoken to her all week. I really don't care about her anymore.

Also, I have broken another tooth. This one is broken because it was weakened by a cavity. The cavity came from the enamel getting chipped off be the tooth next too it being extracted. The inside corner broke off while I was eating a granola bar Tuesday. It isn't painful, but the sharp corner is rubbing and irritating my tongue  which is making it hard to talk normally.  I hopefully can go see my dentist about this, and my broken filling on the other side of my mouth. (This makes it hard to eat, which is actually a very effective diet. I'm losing weight little by little. Not that I was overweight, but I'm getting closer to where I was my junior year of HS.)

Well, it's almost 2am, so I really need to go to sleep. Goodnight.


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

I feel like a complete dolt

Well, I certainly failed the last test the Lord gave me. That much I am certain about. (Thanks, Kate, for the reality check. I didn't take it well at the time, but it was needed.) I became so disillusioned and depressed that I forgot something important- the Lord doesn't allow us to fail if we are doing what we should be doing. I really should have handled this last test a lot better. I've been through so much worst, but this has really brought to light my weakness- I panic easily. This is also evident in how I am interacting with KD right now. The last text she sent me, about an hour ago, is "Has anyone ever told you that you think too much?" Yeah. A lot of people have. It's been a while, but I used to hear it all the time. That's actually a big problem with me- I am neither right-brained nor left-brained, so I am extremely analytical while at the same time I have a vivid and active imagination. Sometimes my thoughts run away from me, and I don't know what is and isn't real.

So, the good news of the day is I have a job again; actually, I had the job before I even interviewed. All they did was tell me what would be expected of me and told me to show up Thursday at 9. It's at Jersey Mike's in Ormond Beach. Oh guess who else is in the same shopping Plaza? Chick-Fil-A. Once again, I will be making the trek to the OTS. Oh well.

I've mentioned KD a few times. I'll introduce you.

This is KD. Her real name is Katherine, but everyone calls her KD.

She is the youngest YSA. She and I have had a warm/cold back-and-forth thing going on up until the last week. Right now the situation is:
We both like each other.
We both really enjoy each other's friendship.
We are both heading out to BYUI.
All the guys in YSA like her, which she hates.
She doesn't want a relationship right now.
A few YSA guys don't understand that.
I'm worried I might get too aggressive and end up pushing her away.

Yeah, things are a bit complicated.

I've also had another huge blessing. The house I am sharing with my roommate is being foreclosed. We no longer have to pay rent- just utilities. Until they finalize the foreclosure. So, basically I only have to pay 200/month. This should last a few months. Also, I won't have to sell my guitar to pay that, which I was deathly worried I would have to do. I have been very blessed with that. So, in return, I am going to practice a lot more. I almost lost one of the most important things to me. I won't take it for granted anymore.

In other news, I have decided to start a 4th blog, and I am going to actually post on all for blogs. This blog will mostly be my personal blog.

lifewouldbb.blogspot.com will be all music-related posts
extrememoderates.blogspot.com is all things politics.
saidwithsalt.blogspot.com is my new blog, about all thing religious


SUBSCRIBE TO AND SHARE ALL OF THEM IF YOU LOVE ME!

haha.

And if you don't love me, subscribe and share out of spite. That'll show me.

I promise I will update at least.

That's the news.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

-insert expletive here-

That's how I feel right now.

I am unemployed and have no money to my name. If I do not find steady employment in a few weeks, I will also be homeless. I really don't know how to react to all this. I was going to try and enroll at DSC for the fall semester and use grants to pay my rent, but I just found out if I do, I won't get my grant money until mid October.
I haven't been feeling right at all the past month or so. I lost my wallet, which included my DL, debit card, my emergency cash and a blank check. I got a new wallet, only to lose that one a week later with $30 cash in it. I don't feel like I belong with my roommate. Even though I have paid my rent on time so far, I feel like I'm just a burden to him because I don't have a job. I've had no motivation to do anything. I am only applying to jobs because I know I need one or else. I've read a few Ensign articles, but I haven't read the actual scriptures in weeks, which I know is contributing to all of this.
I just don't know what to do. I don't know what the future holds. I feel like I don't honestly have a future. And I hate talking about it with people, because nobody actually ever tells me something worth hearing. It's always the same genetic stuff. I don't wanna hear that it will get better, I wanna know HOW. I want an individualized reaction, not something they told you to say at the MTC. I don't want excessive sympathy or empathy, but I do want people to acknowledge the fact that I do actually have a really bad situation right now. I know things could be worst; however, that doesn't mitigate the actual situation I'm in right now. I am in excruciating pain every day because of dental work that needs to be done, but there isn't anything that can be done about it. To make things worst, I know one tooth at least is going to need to be pulled, which isn't a good thing. (Remember my last tooth extraction?)

I haven't played guitar since Danny's farewell. It shows. 3 weeks takes a lot away from your fingers. I tried to play a few songs today, but I couldn't mute properly or get a good tone. I couldn't get my fingers to trill fast enough, I couldn't get any good clean tremolo picking and I couldn't get a clean pinch harmonic.

Oh yeah, Danny left, Jeff Left, Matt left and Joey leaves a week from tomorrow. I'm glad my buddies are getting to serve missions, but it sucks being left here without them. I miss Matt so much. I guess it's because he and I have been through so much as friends (and at a few times, friendly rivals) that I miss him so much. He is one of the few people that really knows me intimately. He knows what makes me tick. Of everyone I've ever known my entire life, only Melinda and Ann (Melinda's mom) have known me as well as Matt. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to still have Richard and John, but even John is working on his papers.

I spent the last 5 days house-sitting for the Livingstons. Sister Livingston told me today that they will eventually be moving away from here. Terry is looking to work for another hospital. (And I don't blame him. Halifax is terrible to their doctors.) Because of certain laws, he won't be able to work around here. So goodbye more friends. KD is supposedly a friend, but, I don't feel like she is gunna be a long-term friend. I want her to be, but, something keeps telling me it isn't going to happen.

All this has forced me to put off BYUI. I am now looking at spring-fall track. This is good because I won't be showing up for the first time in the peak of winter, but I don't wanna stay here any longer.

I hate this.


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Please excuse my extensive absence

I've had a rough past few weeks. It's not been easy, and it isn't getting any easier; however, this past weekend was amazing. So, before I catch up on my life the past few weeks, I'll tell y'all about my awesome weekend.

It starts last Friday (June 29). Right as I clocked out at work, Joey, one of the other YSA Reps in my Stake, called me and asked me if I was going to go to the South Florida YSA Conference. I told him I couldn't afford it and that it was already too late for me to request the weekend off. He told me He'd spot me the fee, and told me to just go ask for the weekend off. I kept refusing, but he is as stubborn as I am, and he hadn't been working all day.  Well, I asked JR if I could take off the weekend, and he said yeah. Well, I told Joey, and registered for conference.

So Conference. It's a 95-110 minute drive from Daytona to the Deseret Ranch. (The Church owns this ranch- it's the largest cattle ranch east of the Mississippi River and one of the largest in the US) We made it in 70.

Friday, when we arrived, I noticed something that I had expected but hadn't fully realized: I didn't really know anyone, and most everyone there was from a very different culture than I'm from; everyone I could see was Hispanic. (Let it be known I'm not a racist, but previous experience had told me I usually don't mesh well with Hispanic culture.) Well, I registered, set up my little section of the cabin, ate dinner and hung out before the dance. I chatted with a few people, mostly those I knew already like Caroline. During the dance, I mostly sat and talked with Will (My group leader, with whom I would become great friends), Danny/Elaina and John. Near the end of the dance my social anxieties were killing me, so I decided to hit the showers before everyone else and call it a night. (Please note I did dance a few songs.)

Saturday, I woke up annoyed. Someone in my cabin snored at around 90db all night. It wasn't pleasant. I decided to just stay awake after only 3 hours of sleep. Joey joined me a few minutes later. Soon John, Richard, Joey and I were moving tables and helping set up for breakfast. After breakfast, we broke off into our groups. First, we introduced ourselves, and discussed our skit for that night. Then we had our fist class. It was about communication and resolving issues. Kinda. The second class started with an old EFY game: Everyone grabs hands with two random people, and then you have to untangle yourselves. Well, this game actually went pretty well. I grabbed hands with two people close to me, so I was untangled after about 2 minutes; The remaining 20 minutes was spent trying to help everyone else untangle. (One of the people I was holding on to was Elaina, Danny's GF. Later I walked up to him and said "I got to hold hands with your girl for like 20 minutes dude!) After we got untangled, we read the vision of The Tree of Life and discussed it.  After that we had a little bit of free time and lunch, followed by more free time. We (my group) then painted the dinning pavilion After were finished painting, before our last class, one girl in my group, Shoushig, who is training to sing Opera, had a funny conversation with me:

"You listen to a lot of Country, don't you?"
 "No, not really. I listen to Southern Rock, but not Honky-Tonk western, no."
"Oh. You look like you would. What music do you listen to?"
"Uhm, Blues, Jazz, Classical..."
"You don't listen to Classical"
"Yes I Do."
"Who's your Favorite composer?"
"Vivaldi."
"...oh"
"What did you expect, Beethoven?"
"Yeah"

Don't judge a book by it's cover, people. I was raised on Classical music.

Our last class was at the COPE course. Everything went pretty smooth, except for the last trust fall. The kid was so scared to fall that he actually couldn't' bring him self to do it. When he eventually did, he fell sideways, directly at Elaina. Bless her heart, she tried to catch him by herself. She didn't even slow him down. (He's at least TWICE her weight.) After all the fun and spirit of classes, we had free time. I had planned on going to the waterside. I ended up throwing a football with Sunny. We talked and threw the football for the entire free time. After dinner, our group got together and planned our skit. Then all four groups did the skits and we had a great time. We ended the night with a small fire and EFY games. I showed Sunny a Lindsey Stirling video and a couple of Rifftrax videos.

Sunday was to cool. After breakfast we had a sacrament meeting and and testimony meeting. Then we had a group picture and said our goodbyes.

Something amazing happened though. When I arrived, I felt out of place and uncomfortable. When I left, I felt like I was leaving my family. I was leaving behind people the I genuinely loved. It amazed me- everyone there just welcomed me in and befriended me. There were no strangers in that group. Facebook says that as of right now, I've added 23 friends this week. All but one of them are from this conference. A few of the people I never even talked to. I'm so glad I got to go. Between everything that I learned, felt, and experienced, this was the best thing to happen to me in years. Joey and I are planning to head down to Miami before he leaves on his mission. I can't wait. I wanna see these people again.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

New rule for my life:

Think more; feel less. And stop rushing into things emotionally.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

is there such thing is coincidence?

Seriously? She's also heading out to BYUI in January, she's as interested in me and I am in her, and she seems to fit the typical profile that I don't necessarily look for but always find. (Bookworm, loves music, nerdy, wears glasses, green eyes, ect.) Okay, so she is a Florida State fan, but, maybe she can be converted to the truth of the glorious gospel of the Florida Gators!